by Doug Gray | Apr 22, 2013 | change, Employment, money, Personal Development, strengths, Success
Recently I watched a Netflix video on the Dalai Lama…
And he stated that poor people smile more often.
If the reincarnated Buddha, a fountain of wisdom and mystery for hundreds of thousands of people, were to hit me with a hammer, then perhaps I should listen. Is that true? Do poor people smile more often? He certainly made me think…
The Dalai Lama explained that westerners, and wealthy people in particular, do not smile as often.
With higher net worth comes fear of protection. He called it “excessive greed.” Hmmm….
Is that true?
So I did a quick “Thought Experiment.” Just like years ago in graduate school. I imagined two isolated control groups and tested this thesis.
Group 1: A recent gathering of parents and independent school students. Dressed to kill for Prom. At a private backyard. With a photographer. Spectacular flowers and layers of gardens. Private waterfall. Limos waiting outside. Dozens of spectacularly dressed young people. Casually dressed parents. Gnoshing on appetizers, wine, beer, cake pops on a stick. Casual conversations. Smile factor among the higher net worth crowd: 4 out of 10.
Group 2: A recent gathering of college students at an independent coffee shop. Gatherings of 1-3 people. Macbooks and ear buds. Light music. Sunlight cascading through the hexagonal shaped room. Windows retrieved from some ancient church. Plants overflowing from colorful ceramic pots. Ripped jeans and tatoos. Black grunge tee shirts sitting next to red flannel shirts. Occasional outbursts of laughter. Smile factor among the lower net worth crowd: 6 out of town.
These results are inconclusive.
What do you think?
Do poor people smile more often?
Call me with your story and examples… at 704.895.6479
by Doug Gray | Dec 31, 2012 | change, Coaching, exercise, faith, Leadership, strengths, Success
Thomas Jefferson described “The Pursuit of Happiness” as an eternal truth. He wrote amid revolutions in France and the unformed United States.
Recent research in neurobiology demonstrates that HOW we choose to live enervates different parts of the brain. Yet so many people are fascinated by WHAT we do. Hmmm. Maybe we need to stay focused on choosing happy pursuits.
What would happen if you chose to spend TODAY focused on one activity- choosing happy pursuits- only?
by Doug Gray | Dec 29, 2012 | book review, Business, change, Coaching, Employment, exercise, faith, money, Personal Development, strengths, Success
Hello fellow book lovers…
Perhaps you have read or know The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin. If not, I heartily recommend it for a book discussion group. Or as a gift for loved ones.
Great combination of self-disclosure, research, wit, personal development.
I bought this impulsively for a loved one for Christmas, and of course she has not yet touched it. I’ve inhaled it. So I thought you might appreciate it…
by Doug Gray | Sep 24, 2012 | Business, change, exercise
Happiness is elastic.
Like a giant rubber band. Thankfully, we can stretch and create more happiness when we are intentional.
We experience happiness at different times, and some people are more happy than others. We know the reward mechanisms of the brain are reinforced when we do certain activities. And when we reinforce those behaviors, we can be happier. Some activities, such as mindfulness, are now being taught in MBA programs… so that people become more happy.
Here is step 5 of 5:
5. Give.
The happiest people give generously. They give time. They give talents.
John Maxwell, the “Leadership Guru of the Decade”, calls this the Law of Reciprocity. The more you give, without expectation of direct return, then the more you will receive.
In Rotary the motto is, “Service above self.”
The happiest people give because they choose to do so. And in return, those who give report tremendous feelings of altrusim and compassion.
Did you know that our brains are hardwired? When we do certain behaviors, we can see electrical and chemical activity in certain portions of the brain. For instance, consider this experiment. Imagine that we select two sets of people, randomly matched. What would happen if we gave $100 to each person? Anything different? Now imagine that the first set was asked to invest the money on others. The second set was not given any instructions, they could use the money in any way they desired. Now, would you expect anything different? What would their brain images indicate?
The first set of people, who were asked to invest $100 in others, had different brain images. They reported it as “happiness.” And we can see the impact on their brain imagery in bright colors. One conclusion from this study is that we are hard wired to the reward mechanisms in our brain. Another conclusion is that when we choose to give, we can create happiness in ourselves and others.
So, who can you give something to, today? What can you give away, today? How can you help someone else experience happiness?
A friend recently overheard someone state that he had a bicycle on layaway. He used the bicycle daily. So my friend quietly paid off the debt. Anonymously.
What can you give, right now?
by Doug Gray | Sep 22, 2012 | Business
Happiness is elastic.
Thankfully. We can stretch and become more happy.
We experience happiness at different times, and some people are more happy than others. We know the reward mechanisms of the brain are reinforced when we do certain activities. And when we reinforce those behaviors, we can be happier. Some activities, such as mindfulness, are now being taught in MBA programs… so that people become more happy.
Here is step 4 of 5:
4. Keep Learning.
Our brains are delightfully complex organs, designed to evolve. We regenerate brain cells throughout our lives. That process, called “Ontogeny,” requires stimulation.
We perceive the world (using our 5 senses.) That stimulation is interpreted by the brain, based upon previous schemas/experience/data, then stored for some response.
When someone gives us a kiss (stimulation) we respond (with pheromes and increased blood flow.) Then we call it something happy, like love.
Just so, we follow our curiosity to stimulate our brains in hundreds of ways.
We can keep learning by:
- asking questions
- using our non-dominant hand when cooking or writing
- speaking a new language
- visiting new places or people
- researching a new recipe, or subject, or interest
- intentionally trying new activities, in a new way
When we keep learning we stimulate the brain in new ways. That process keeps us agile. And leads to happiness.
Learning is, in fact, a lifelong process.
So, what would you like to learn today? What are three subjects you want to explore this week? Who are you curious about meeting, and why?
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